"Question: How contrive not to waste one's time?
Answer: By being fully aware of it all the while." ~ Albert Camus
I came across this quote last week while searching for quotes about time to kick start some journaling. Why time? Because I got tired of hearing myself asking, "Where has the time gone?". And I seem to be asking that question a lot lately.
There's been the obvious events that's got me thinking about the passage of time - an impending birthday, seeing friends we haven't seen in over 10 years (10 years!), underestimating a nephew's age, looking in the mirror and seeing my mother's face looking back at me. But it's been the small, daily reminders that have been niggling at me - the arrival of a new edition of a magazine when I haven't read last month's yet, tearing off another page from the calendar, hearing that someone younger than I am has passed away, or simply noticing it's later than I thought on going to bed while having accomplished only half of what I had intended.
So I've begun to pay greater attention to how I spend this valuable resource called time. And it is not easy! Some things I already know - that I am easily distracted, that I spend more time on the enjoyable pastimes, and far less on something that I dislike (think cleaning toilets!) and that I lose track of time when talking with someone I love. But I am also learning some new tricks for this old dog - that by simply paying attention, by being more aware I have more control of the distractions. That my father was right - it is easier to avoid temptations than resist them. That, perhaps, time means something totally different in your 70's than in your 30's anyway! And, perhaps, the most valuable AHA - that in any transition, one of the greatest challenges is to learn new ways to spend time.
I wonder, can anyone really be aware of time "all the while"? For now, however, I'm just trying to be more attentive.
After several years of setting goals over the holidays, using several (often laborious)approaches, I almost decided to forego the process this year. After all, I'm retired now. Why drive myself? The main goal for the year - enjoy life! Then I stumbled upon two questions raised by Patti Digh, author of life is a verb. Digh doesn't write goals, but uses questions like these to guide her during the year. The questions:
What do I want to create this year?
What am I ready to release this year?
Now, I love chewing on a good question. Love the sense of clarity that can emerge, the new possiblity that presents itself, the visceral satisfaction of discovering a powerful answer when most needed. So, I've been playing with these questions for a few weeks now, just considering, listing ideas as possibilities. Adding to the lists. Some of my ideas:
What do I want to create?
- an art studio
- an organized garage
- mini-scrapbooks of cherished memories
- new memories, especially
- a cruise to Alaska to celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary
- greater self-discipline - read "healthier habits"
- etc., etc.
What am I ready to release?
- clothes I don't wear
- boxes we've moved for the past 10 years without opening
- my tendency to worry
- ten lbs. - the same ten lbs. I've said I'd lose for the past 10 years!!
- habits that don't serve me well
- etc., etc.
In the process of creating these lists, three things have happened. First, I've shifted from thinking about what I should do this year to what I genuinely want to do... a seismic shift in itself. Second, I've already acted on a few ideas - the cruise is booked, the "studio" is underway, we've been working in the garage and...I've tossed out boxes of old journals! All within 3 weeks! And third, because these questions have been so helpful, I'm playing with a few of my own:
- What do I want to learn this year?
- What do I want to attempt?
- What do I want to finish?
- What do I want to celebrate?
Finally, in the process of creating these lists, I have also created some goals for 2013...after all these years, some habits do persist. But this year, using these questions to guide my thinking, the process has been fascinating, easy and even enjoyable. Thank you, Patti!
